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Time and again I am asked questions about what is permissible or allowed in the marital bed. I generally assume that people are asking the question because one spouse thinks that a certain activity is great and really wants to engage in the particular thing, while the other one is reticent, uncomfortable or flat out doesn’t want to. Often what most people want to know is what the bible says about oral sex. So for all of those who wonder if it’s okay, I will offer my opinion. Remember, this is what I think and you, your spouse, your grandma,…
A common problem you may face after the birth of a child is how to rebuild your sex life after having a new baby. Women commonly state they are tired and barely have any interest and men commonly complain that the baby gets more attention than they do. Why does desire tend to plummet after having a new child? Think about what happened prior to having children. Most couples have more time together and more freedom to set aside time for sex. You didn’t have to worry about when your baby was asleep, when to get a babysitter, or when…
One of the top questions about sex people bring to therapy relates to what’s “natural.” There are two different aspects to this. The first is about the ecology of sexual interactions: making time for sex, the process of initiating, discussing preferences, feeling adequate, and negotiating contraception. People want sex to be “natural.” Men and women concerned about this generally mean that they don’t want to make dates for sex, want sex to mysteriously happen without anyone actually initiating, don’t want to communicate what they like and don’t like, want to believe that their partner is deeply satisfied without actually asking…
For many couples, the sexual intimacy tends to wax and wane over time. I get countless couples who state they have had sex-starved or sexless marriages for years. They come to sex therapy to rebuild, but then struggle on the path to recovery. For the purposes of this discussion, a sexless marriage is one in which sex happens 10 times a year or fewer. In these marriages, sex is so infrequent that by the time couples do have sex it can feel awkward, uncomfortable, and even involve sexual dysfunction. For couples who would like to prevent sexless marriages, here are…
Stress has a huge impact on our sex lives. It changes everything from the initial desire to have sex, through to arousal and ultimately the ability to orgasm. So, here are five ways you can reduce the negative impacts of stress on your sex life. 1. Have sex earlier in the day Christianity, to believe that sex should only be done under the cover of night. This is a throw-back to when sex was considered to be sinful and thus improper to be done in the light of day. After all, you might see your spouse naked and be aroused,…
Sex definitely does not have to get boring in a long-term marriage. As the years go by, your sex life should get better. You both know each other so well by now. What makes each other feel good, likes, dislikes, habits and so on. Here are some ways to keep your marriage and sex life healthy and strong: Communication is the key to a healthy and active sex life in a marital relationship, so talk with one another more! Chatting about superficial things can be fun, but remember to go deeper in order to really establish intimacy. Be sure to…
Each long-term relationship is different and sex in each relationship is different. Many factors impact the satisfaction or dissatisfaction of sexual enjoyment and pleasure, including though not limited to, emotional connection, medical conditions, relational conflict, sexual preferences/interests or a combination of many factors. Although many people can enjoy physical sex without an emotional connection, the emotional connection adds a different element to sex. For some, it means becoming vulnerable with another person and feeling safe to explore sexual interests or activities. In our society, many sexual activities are taboo or come with an element of shame or guilt. Finding a…
Couples should understand that sex doesn’t only start when they take their clothes off. Sexual arousal is a tricky thing, there are many factors that contribute to a perfect night and hitting all the right buttons can help your partner warm up faster. It is important to understand that there are basic differences when it comes to sexual arousal for both sexes. Men tend to go for visual and physical stimulation while women require intimacy before being sexually aroused. However, these ten tips can help couples get their sex engines revved up a little bit faster. Dress Sexy Some people…
Low libido in men is a problem that’s not given the attention it needs. It is acceptable if you are not in the mood to have sex all the time. Sex drive has its crests and troughs. That said, if your libido is constantly at low levels, then the situation escalates into a chronic condition that requires treatment. There is a lot that you can do to restore your sexual vigor. Let us look at the ways in which you can recharge your sex drive and reignite the passion in your love life. 1. Boost Your Testosterone Levels A drop…
Have you ever been waiting for an important interview with a potential client, new boss, or employer with that feeling of worry sitting on your chest? More than likely at this point you would consciously or subconsciously take a deep breath and that feeling would begin to subside slightly. That is why breathing is so important for arousal control. Breathing consciously allows for greater control of your body which in turn allows for greater control of your ejaculation. When allowing your body to do what it naturally does, physical stimulation will allow for mental stimulation which in turn continues the…